It's been about 7 days of no-contact with my ex, but I decided to write an email to her today. Something fairly superficial and positive. We'd agreed to try to remain friends, so I felt like putting that to the test. Don't judge me too harshly -- I'm depressed about the breakup and, thus, am inclined to do stupid, vindictive things.
Now, this was probably not a smart thing to do for many reasons. First, I'm just getting to the point where I'm not addicted to getting her emails, or other communications, multiple times daily. Second, I'm trying to see what kind of response I'll get, and when, fooling myself into thinking that, maybe, she's still thinking about me, when she's probably with her new boyfriend right now.
She used to email me almost immediately; but, so far this evening, after 4 or 5 hours, nothing. I might get something tomorrow morning. But it's just more proof, if I really needed any, that I'm no longer "it" -- that I'm no longer at the top of her thoughts, or even in her thoughts at all.
It's hard to know she's having such a wonderful time with her new guy, while I am still going through the process of getting over her. But I'm not the only one going through this, or who has gone through this. I just need to keep reminding myself about that. It's hard to swallow that you've been discarded and replaced, but, perhaps, a better way to think about it is, would I really want to date someone who would treat me -- or anyone else -- that way?
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